I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i need some magic done to my vagina
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
