we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My dick has a subreddit
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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