White coat. Heels.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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