4 words: hood of his car
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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