plz talk dirty to me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
not ubering you a puppy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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