Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
