He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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