just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
