8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
