yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Im part way to drunk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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