Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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