My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize