and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
