You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
soo... how was my night?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
