he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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