Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
