Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
