I'm really into asian looking animals
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
