need another drink. this is the easiest way
Umm I'm too high to move.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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