I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
