i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think I am morally bankrupt
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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