So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
