Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
