Joe is yelling at the trees again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
