When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
