Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
