Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
