woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
