i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
