He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
