your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
