if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
