So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
