It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
