clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
