i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
