You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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