I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
