Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
