Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
