oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
