So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
