So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
