I want to make a zoo with you.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
