My room smells like vodka and shame
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
