found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't deserve a penis
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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