It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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