I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
