If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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