i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
