I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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