we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
