I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
